Hello, Are You Up There?

Please, Please, Please

Not long ago someone shared with me that when their prayers go unanswered they start to wonder if God is up there at all. I can identify with that because it gets terrible when you're praying and nothing ever seems to happen. And believe me, when I was in prison, I searched my Bible for an explanation because it seemed my prayers bounced off the ceiling and floated right back down to me. Prison was an entirely new type of reality for me, not because of the traditional stereotypes but because it consumed your entire existence and made the outside world seem vague and distant. I imagine being in the hospital with a long illness would be a close approximation. Every day you wake up with a weight inside that’s a reminder to keep your mind on today because any pondering of the past can start you down a slippery slope that spills into a pit of despair. 

Most of my initial unanswered prayers revolved around getting out of prison early. A little selfish I know but as a new Christian I wasn’t yet comfortable with choosing God’s will over my own or even how to go about doing it. Regardless of your maturity level, when your prayers go unanswered for a while it’s hard not to wonder if anybody’s listening. 

I did have some early prayer wins though. A few months after I arrived, I started a new job that required me to wear steel toed work boots. The compound issued you a pair, but they weighed a mere six pounds each and were indescribably uncomfortable.

Yea I know, it's a prison, not supposed to be fun. And they definitely got that part right! I discovered that the commissary sold boots but had been out of inventory for months. Fortunately, there is always someone buying or selling in prison so I started asking around about a pair of better boots. I didn’t have much luck until I sat down one night and begged God to do something about my boot situation (I was a new Christian so I didn’t understand that I should have started with praying). It was crazy, within a day, a guy I didn’t know came up to me and offered me a twice worn pair of the boots that the commissary was currently out of, for half the price. I know it sounds like a small thing but I was elated and thanked God for such an immediate and wonderful answer to my prayer. But over the next forty months, as various legal proceedings fell through one by one, I wondered why a pair of boots wasn’t a problem for God but prison release seemed impossible. Obviously, boots were easier than a prison release but I couldn’t help but wonder if the degree of difficulty made a difference. That was a problem for me since I knew I needed a God with whom the impossible was just another day at the office. 

Especially early on when I was weak, easily deceived, prone to distractions, and awfully needy too……....Come to think of it, not much has changed from those days, and I find myself needing that impossible stuff more than ever. So if you believe God can and does everything from the impossible to the mundane, as I do, what makes the difference between the boot prayer and the get out of jail free prayer?

It can be many things but I’ve noticed in my life that certain prayers seem to move God more than others. In prison, I remember studying Luke 11 and noticing that when Jesus’s disciples asked Him how they should pray, He gave them the Lord’s Prayer but continued straight into a discussion about repetitiveness and persistence in prayer. Verses and chapters were added later so we can assume this was part of the same teaching. 

Then teaching them more about prayer, he used this story: 

“Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, ‘A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed, I can’t help you.’ But I tell you this - though he won’t do it for friendship’s sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence. “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened for you.”

Honestly, I was confused about this for a long time. A God that knows everything, wants me to continue asking for the things He knew I needed before the first time I asked for them? That’s a mouthful! It really didn’t make much sense to me and I read conflicting opinions that you should ask God once and be done with it but that seems to fly in the face of what Jesus said about prayer. 

In prison you have nothing but time and little to lose so I tried what I considered one long prayer. That turned into a really really long prayer that ended up lasting ten months. I told you I was needy! It’s another topic but obviously if you are praying for something contrary to scripture or His will, your not going to get it. I know it sounds crazy but I figured I’d bug Him until He answered. Early church folks used to call it “praying through”. I gotta tell you, it’s hard work and you’ve got to be plumb determined, but it does work! Not only does it work, but the incidental benefits are marvelous. It is a faith grower! Maybe it's because you’ve got to believe to spend that much time praying for the same thing. Maybe that consistency breeds a comfort level that touches something in our Father. Eventually I was saying things like, “Hey Lord, it’s me again with the same old same old request. I know we talked about it earlier but I still haven’t gotten my answer. Please send help and forgive me for being your neediest kid. Amen.” 

 Quickly answered prayers do little more than foster a desire for a genie, not a Lord. But praying through builds a stubborn and persistent faith that pleases God immensely. It always reminded me of a story about Corrie Ten Boom who, when she was praying for something, would read through her Bible until she found a scripture that supported her prayer, and hold the Bible up to the ceiling and say, “Here Lord, read it for yourself.” I used to think about how daring that was but now I see it for what it truly was, a confident and beloved child who was comfortable with her Father. And from what I’ve read, her prayers got answered!